Worries

I have been in Baltimore for about 2 and 1/2 months. I have been at my job for 2 months and I must admit that the biggest things I am dealing with are my weight and my finances. I am serious about getting out of debt and am about to take on other babysitting jobs or even cleaning houses again to make ends meet and save for my future. I wake up each day hoping that the day will prove itself to be full of life and joy and I end each day with this weight on my shoulders as I struggle with keeping my mind positive. I have to admit finances have been the biggest issue of my life. I am trying to recover and keep my budget and be a responsible person. WOW! I can't tell you how many times I have been in tears this past week just knowing I am not spending over the mark and yet ending up in the red every months end. I know that all this will pay off...all this saving, and keeping track of everything I spend. Eventually it will work out and I will not end up in the red.

The other issue I am dealing with is my weight! I have always been skinny...never had to watch my weight, but after being put back on meds I am struggling to lose weight. I am in the low 160s which is amazing, but I must admit I hurt. I have become obsessed and my roommates are so sick of me talking about my weight so I have just gotten quiet and talk to my journal. I just know I will not feel good until I am back to a size 4 or 6. I mean maybe that is unreasonable seeing that I am just now a size 8 in jeans and size 10 in dresses.

I have decided to allow myself to worry about one thing....money. The weight I can only worry about after my money is under control. I am making a boundary for myself and gonna eat right, go to the gym, and work with my personal trainer but I am not going to weigh myself every other day anymore...I am just gonna weigh myself once a week.

Oh for peace....how I wish for peace!