Spring is here in Oregon, along with rain and clouds. They say we are in a deficit for rain but I am already wishing for a break and for some sunshine. Today I woke up early to eat breakfast with my father who has come out to Oregon to be with me and do some counseling at a camp this weekend. It was so good to wake up and see him standing over me as he woke me up. It is even more amazing to hear him tell me how proud he is of me, of how far I have come, how much thinner I am getting, and that he loves me. I have been working so hard to get out of depression, I am getting to the gym every other day, I am seeing a trainer, I am getting my eating under control and eating healthier, I am pushing myself to get out of bed at 9am and go to bed at 9pm, I am pushing myself to hang out with friends who call me even when I want to stay in by the fire and hibernate. I have been pushing for about 3 weeks and then Pop died and all of a sudden I was not pushing anymore. My body was being propelled into life without much effort. I can get up, I can make it to the gym, I can hang out with friends, it is like all the work I put in before Pop's death is paying off now. And now Dad is here and sees all the pay off and is so proud of me. My counselor and my Nurse Practitioner are all excited I have not gone off my meds or even attempted to since being out of the hospital. Good Friday (next weekend) will be one year since I was put in the hospital. Dad and I are going out to dinner to celebrate my "birthday" of being healed and well into recovery. I am leaving this morning to go up to Washington State to go camping with my girlfriend in the Olympic Mountains. We are headed for hot springs but it is chilly and I am not sure we will be hard core and sleep out in the snow. We might, we might not. This trip is the first big trip I have planned and done on my own since the episode, besides going back to NY. This time I had to get all my clothes packed and in the car, I had to find my sleeping bag and get everything organized. It was almost stressful...it still is. But I will be ok. I just am a tad bit of a homebody now adays. The adventurer is on vacation in my soul at the moment. But, my how far I have come...and how far those reading this will come if they keep on keeping on. It is not the end of the rope having or living with someone who has bipolar....it is a terrifying adventure that can be worth every moment if you change your perspective. I have been so close to dying, I have scared my family and friends, I have whole parts of my family who do not talk to me anymore because of past actions when I was manic, but I am who I am and I know that the person I am is coming back to life, at last!
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Life, Love and Laughter
Spring is here in Oregon, along with rain and clouds. They say we are in a deficit for rain but I am already wishing for a break and for some sunshine. Today I woke up early to eat breakfast with my father who has come out to Oregon to be with me and do some counseling at a camp this weekend. It was so good to wake up and see him standing over me as he woke me up. It is even more amazing to hear him tell me how proud he is of me, of how far I have come, how much thinner I am getting, and that he loves me. I have been working so hard to get out of depression, I am getting to the gym every other day, I am seeing a trainer, I am getting my eating under control and eating healthier, I am pushing myself to get out of bed at 9am and go to bed at 9pm, I am pushing myself to hang out with friends who call me even when I want to stay in by the fire and hibernate. I have been pushing for about 3 weeks and then Pop died and all of a sudden I was not pushing anymore. My body was being propelled into life without much effort. I can get up, I can make it to the gym, I can hang out with friends, it is like all the work I put in before Pop's death is paying off now. And now Dad is here and sees all the pay off and is so proud of me. My counselor and my Nurse Practitioner are all excited I have not gone off my meds or even attempted to since being out of the hospital. Good Friday (next weekend) will be one year since I was put in the hospital. Dad and I are going out to dinner to celebrate my "birthday" of being healed and well into recovery. I am leaving this morning to go up to Washington State to go camping with my girlfriend in the Olympic Mountains. We are headed for hot springs but it is chilly and I am not sure we will be hard core and sleep out in the snow. We might, we might not. This trip is the first big trip I have planned and done on my own since the episode, besides going back to NY. This time I had to get all my clothes packed and in the car, I had to find my sleeping bag and get everything organized. It was almost stressful...it still is. But I will be ok. I just am a tad bit of a homebody now adays. The adventurer is on vacation in my soul at the moment. But, my how far I have come...and how far those reading this will come if they keep on keeping on. It is not the end of the rope having or living with someone who has bipolar....it is a terrifying adventure that can be worth every moment if you change your perspective. I have been so close to dying, I have scared my family and friends, I have whole parts of my family who do not talk to me anymore because of past actions when I was manic, but I am who I am and I know that the person I am is coming back to life, at last!
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How long are you going to be in Oregon for? Liam is due to be born one month. But he may come early.
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