Stationary

Swing swing swing....I am actually not swinging anywhere. I am sitting on my parents' futon, staring at this computer screen trying to make some wonderful words pop from my brain. I have none! What I could say is that I am happy that life is smoothing out (knock on wood) and that my heart is not in my throat because of a guy I am in love with. I am excited that I have some place to lay my thoughts before I head to bed so I won't be up all night wondering if I should get up and write on my blog spot or not. I love each person who reads this blog and hope that in some small way, it will impact their lives so they will come to a better understanding of me and of who I am as a person who suffers with an illness such as Bi-Polar Disorder.
I am already getting myself ready for my plane ride back to Oregon. I am praying that the knock-the-wind-out-of-my-guts feeling will stop if I can just trust in God enough. I HATE TO FLY....and yet I dream of traveling the earth. So I will sit and pop my sleepy pills and be happy....oh if only it was so easy. I just read Psalm 91 over and over and over and ask to hold the hand of the person next to me, male or female. I can't wait until I am married and that poor soul beside me getting the bones in their hand displaced is my loving husband of ump-teen years. Oh marriage...why do you avoid me?