uh oh...

I have become keenly aware of the fact that depression is coming back into my life. Creeping back into my very existence. I was bored before, but now the symptoms are here again...the fear of leaving the house, the anxiety of meeting each day, the difficulty getting out of bed, the desire to go without food, loss of appetite. I know I need to make a schedule for myself but I am just too tired and to be honest what is the point really? That is was is scaring me...that sentence...what is the point? There is so much to live for and so much to work for and I am so tired of fighting. I am tired of working the steps I need to in order to get myself out of bed and into the next day. I am tired of looking in the fridge and being too tired to make anything. But I will tell you what...I am excited about a few things...one is the Mac and Cheese that is on the shelf, I am also excited to have a car tomorrow so I can decide what I want to do with my day and not sit in the house. I am excited to be with my parents and grow together with them in this time. So let me focus on that and be at peace!