Sunday, March 22, 2009
How long with this last?
Well what can I say? I feel uplifted, almost elated. It is as if the world were right where it needed to be in my life, that everything is clicking again, how long with this last? It started with the death of the Grandfather of the family I live with. His harsh passing infront of our eyes led me to believe that I was headed back into an episode, but the opposite has happened. It has awakened my love and desire to live, find some structure, settle down and just be in one spot for a while. As I help the family out I am given even more desire to give back to everyone I know. I am feeling tired but tired from a day of work not from depression. I am feeling happy but not a happy from mania, happy that the darkness is lifting and I am coming out of the hole. Thanks to all of you who kept me in prayers...do'nt stop just yet. haha. There will be a few more dips before I am totally even again. IT has been a year since my last episode ended with a hospitalization and look where I am today....YAYAY!!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Congratulations for a year free from hospitalization!
ReplyDeleteI think that one of the most disorienting things about bipolar disorder is that you may never know if your happiness is "real" happiness, or just the beginning of mania. That must be so maddening to constantly doubt your own emotions. But it IS possible to feel happiness without it leading to utter elation, and sorrow without it leading to depression. You'll find the middle way.
Love,
~Emily WM