Have you ever felt unsafe in your own skin? Like it just doesn't fit the way it used to? That something is going to happen but you just don't know what or when it will occur? I think one of the biggest lessons I am learning right now is that just becuase I am not where I want to be does not mean I am a failure or that I have failed. I think that the "suppose to's" and the "should'ves" are the worst phrases and words I have used on myself to either bring myself down or feel less than. I am fighting some hard things right now, but my friend and wonderful leader from Mexico LeeAnn pointed out some important things to me as I allowed my face to be swallowed by my tears this afternoon. I am not a failure, I am not failing, I am being healed. I am being healed with a force that I wish would just leave me alone and be done with me. But it is not letting up that easily and it is pushing me to push myself into a place of surrender so that deeper, more permanant healing can take place.
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