Tis the Season

Sunday in Baltimore was filled with sunlight and ice. I woke after a wonderful Saturday with my dear friend Judi and her 8 and 1/2 month belly about ready to bust come February. I had driven down to Baltimore with another close friend for my last time in Baltimore until I move back come Fall 2009. I was sure that this would be a wonderful weekend and it has turned onto a wonderfully chill time of catching up and relaxing in the face of friends.
Today is Sunday...once my favorite day of the week, now a day full of questions and some what fearful thoughts from my last episode. My last episode left me feeling sad and betrayed by the God I would worship each day. Sunday was just the day to be with fellow friends and believers. Today I walked into church and felt the warmth of old friends and smiles and hugs. Questions and wonders..."When will you be back?" "Stay in touch over facebook, ok?" "What have you been up to out in Oregon?" Finally after the people left I sat with an old old friend from college and looked him dead in the face and smiled..."What do you say to people? I just had a mental breakdown and am moving back to baltimore?" He smiled and said "but you are better now." "Yes," I said. "But what do you say? People don't need to know the details but I feel like I am lying when I say Oregon just didn't work out for me." Mark leaned back in his chair and just listened. It was like old times, chillin with Mark laughing about life.
But it is truely an interesting moment when someone asks you what you have been up to for the past how many months after an episode they don't know has occured. "Ummm....well....I'm recovering." HA! It has become a tad on the humerous side. I do not take what has happened to me lightly, which makes it hard to answer questions but at the same time you can't take it too seriously or I would be crying all the time.
I continue to reach out to friends and family. Touching them with cards and love, emails and calls. Reaching to make a connection with God is taking a little more effort as I realize my relationship with him has become so much more genuine and real.
Oh Sunday!!! What you do to me now!